Good for What It Is

Good for What It Is

Seeking Arrangement is a sugardaddy dating site. That means that girls are looking to make money for hanging out with guys who have some money. If you understand and accept that, the site is not that bad. I found that, as a reasonably attractive male, I could go on there, set the allowance amounts to something reasonable, and find a huge array of women.

The trick of being successful as a guy on this site is to have rules and be upfront about them. There are a lot of women who get on the site and want to be paid hundreds of dollars just so you can buy them dinner. If you are like me, you do not need to pay for friends. You may, on the other hand, be willing to use money as a social lubricant to make dating faster and weed out competition, right? So, my rule, which I had to explain far less often than you might expect, was that I would be happy to meet and buy dinner and what not, but if she wanted cash and stuff, then we had to be on an intimate/sexual level.

Now, some girls will immediately start calling you cheap and act insulted like you called them a prostitute. In reality, these girls would have milked you for every penny they could squeeze out of you and offered nothing in return. My response to all that is to ask her if she thinks I am anything more than an ATM. If she is not willing to invest something of herself in you, why would you do the same for her? So, even if she's the most beautiful woman you have ever seen, do not cave in and agree to pay her just to hang out with you. There are lots of other women who will understand how it works and will be much more worth your time.

Of course, this brings up the opposite problem you will encounter: the actual prostitutes. They may not even realize that they are doing it, but you will find girls who are willing to trade sex for money with little or no getting to know each other before it happens. If that does not make you feel weird, then the minute they start talking about all of the other guys they are doing that with probably will. You cannot always tell who is going to be this way, and a few obviously snuck by me, but I recommend as soon as you find out you should cut ties. She could easily end up getting arrested and you could get dragged down with her (yes, police have been known to run stings on SA), and you also should probably be worried about things like diseases and raising other guys' babies, etc.

With all of these caveats out of the way, I will say that I have had marvelous success on that site. I've used it off and on for over 10 years now. If I am getting out of a long relationship, I find it is a great way to kickstart the process of getting back out in the dating world. I sign up for a month, easily meet 3 to 6 different girls, and can probably count on getting intimate with about 8 out of 10 of them. It might just start out as a fun fling, but a few have actually turned into longer term relationships, and many required no payment or allowance of any kind. Of course, most of the people willing to put themselves out there to date guys for money probably have a few scars and they invariably pop up at some point and can kill a budding relationship.

For example, met a girl, hit it off, things were great and we were using the scary "L" word with each other. Then it all went wrong because of issues with her parents that made it difficult for her to trust love. So she told me that although she loved me she was going to go back on SA to find a guy to hook up with for money for a new apartment. When I offered to give it to her myself, her logic was that owing people you love messes things up, so it was better to have sex with a stranger. Needless to say, I disagreed and that was the end of it.

Now, ladies, having met quite a few women from the site, I can say that you will likely encounter emails from a few creeps. Just as anywhere else in the world, there are people who will want to hide behind the Internet to indulge all of their fantasies and feelings of inadequacy. There will be picture collectors, there will be guys with strange desires, there will be guys the age of your father or grandfather, there will be married guys, and there will be the guys who look nothing like their photos. It is just like any dating site, though perhaps a bit grittier because of the connotation of the site. But, if you do not let that bug you, the site can be rewarding for you, as well. You can meet someone (like me) who just wants to spark up a little romance without the headaches of regular dating sites and doesn't mind helping you in the process. Really, sugar daddy dating is (at least to my mind) what regular dating should be: two people who like and care for each other and provide for one another's needs. Nice, right?

So, to sum up: have realistic expectations, and the site can be amazing. But, it requires that you be smart about your interactions and ready to move on to the next person if things are wrong.

Pros
-Easy to meet large numbers of women
-Helps you avoid the headaches of normal dating
-Money acts as a "social lubricant" to facilitate intimacy

Cons
-Have to be smart to avoid being scammed
-Most people will be a little damaged, making true relationships harder (though not impossible)