Women, be very very afraid. . . . and go elsewhere! Or just have fun and lurk.

Women, be very very afraid. . . . and go elsewhere! Or just have fun and lurk.

I'm one of those women who gave up on dating sites but very much wants to continue having sex with lusty men. AM is perfect since it's full of unavailable men who won't want to come home to meet the kids or mom & dad. They all want what I want: Sex. Women, it's important to be honest on your profiles. If you want one guy, be truthful about yourself. What do you want? Kinky stuff? Conservative stuff? Post your real weight, your real age. Have a real picture (a flattering one, but within the last year) in your private showcase or be ready to talk on e-mail (which guys will want to do in order to avoid charges from AM). Don't sent the picture until you trust that the guy isn't your next-door neighbor or a PI sent by your husband or boss.

The problem is, 99% of these guys lie, compulsively. Even more than you might imagine, the pictures are OLD, the weights and ages are wrong (sometimes in an attempt to lead any suspicious spouses away from one's profile), and even though they say they want "only one," they know that's what women want to hear.

My solution is to create half a dozen profiles: A few "real" ones and four decoys that try to lure these "only one" guys into having sex. The decoys protect me. In two cases where I really thought guys wanted me for their exclusive sex/affair partner, they set up a sex date, sight unseen, with one of my decoys the very next day. Dummies. For girls like me who are serious about safe and clean guys who aren't with a bunch of other women at the same time, we'll do whatever it takes to guarantee our own safety. I have no problem with that though the guys were livid with the "entrapment." Tough.

Guys, just tell the truth, will you? If you are interested in one-night stands, tell the girl that you can't promise anything after one night. Otherwise, if you tell her you want to try each other out for an exclusive gig, you'll just piss her off.

So, here's the thing. You might get lucky. I did. After kissing a couple of really awful frogs (a psycho old dude I describe below under "cons," a sex addict who I swear had herpes sores on the picture of his penis that he insisted on texting me, a guy who was 12 years older than what his profile said who told me I was the only one he wanted and then made a sex date with my decoy only two hours later. . .. ) I found an incredible, sexy, passionate man who taught me more than I could ever dream of knowing about sex. But I consider this crazy luck, NOT due to AM itself.

I can't really say "no" to AM but I can't enthusiastically endorse it, either. Were it not for the incredible lover--unavailable married lover, just my style--who I finally met, I would say "NO." But we are incredibly happy, having more sex in the last 6 months than I had in 15 years of marriage.

Pros
1. There really are some great guys who are sincere in their desire for an exclusive sexual relationship outside of their marriage. Sounds strange, but it's true. They aren't "players." These guys are worth it. But they are VERY few and far between. I finally met one after meeting hundreds and messaging around 80.
2. It's fun. Gives you something to do. Flattering too! However, you need to ignore 90% of the messages in order to have fun.
3. Some of the nude pictures are worth the price of admission (which is free for women). Be sure to check "accept rated photos" in your preferences. Request private showcase photos from men (even from other countries) who look frisky. They are usually happy to comply.

Cons
1. Guys lie. They will say they want exclusivity, but then they say the same thing to 10 other girls. Your dummy profiles will catch these and protect you.
2. The guys who don't have "AM" beside their name are "free" members and are either transients hanging out at the library, cheap guys hoping to get lucky, high school students in study hall, or psych 101 students doing a research project. It's a waste of time even responding to these dudes.
3. I met a few of the most psycho men I've ever imagined on this site. One was a 260-pound 65-year-old guy on heart medicine who said (on his profile) he was 55 and 170#. His picture was 30 years old. He stopped his meds 2 days before so he could get it up for our meeting. He almost blacked out on me and then went into a flying rage the next day. Total psycho.
4. Prepare yourself for some criticism unless you're perfect. If you have a wonderful body, you will have NO trouble getting yourself a f**k buddy immediately. If you are older or heavier than the norm, you will get a reaction that will call your self-esteem into doubt. For example, I am a bit heavier than the norm. I had a good four days of chat with a guy--a police officer, in fact. He sent his pic. I sent mine. He told me, point blank, that I was heavier than he thought and he wasn't attracted. That stung and I felt better after letting him know that I wasn't into shallow guys.