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Review: Mr.
Oh my goodness. I thought it was just ME. I am Muslima, and I am trying earnestly to find a husband. Not a boyfriend, not a sponsor, not a date! I met men who reported to be Muslim and when they suggested we "talk" about things any Muslim man with half a brain and even half a Quran, that are absolutely haram, well, I was too through. I joined the site in 2007, I met a man located in my city. We chatted via the internet for weeks, (nearly 2 months), then we continued to converse via the telephone (another couple of months) and finally, we met in a heavily populated, public place. It wasn't long before I learned he had only been out of prison for 18 months after being IN prison for 10 years. I didn't hold that against him, he seemed to be solid in his Deen's practice, that is until I asked him if he planned for a mahr, he told me he "was NOT going to provide a mahr (dowery). Wow! is what I said. Then he asked me to meet this sister, and I did, she was nice, and the minute she was out of the room he wanted to kiss me. What? I excused myself, declined the dinner invitation, and left. He called me and apologized and I thought perhaps he was truly sincere. He told me he wanted to marry me, but first, he reported, "I will not marry a woman if I don't have sex with her before we marry, you know just to see if we are compatible." Well, I drove my own car to the meeting, and my own car home, even before the entree arrived. In 2008, I met another man from that site, he appeared to be solid in his Deen's practice, well, chatted, he proposed, I accepted, I moved 2,084 miles to be his bride/wife and 3 weeks after the Nikkah and Walima, he asked me to leave, ugh! Said he didn't love me anymore. I HAD DONE NOTHING TO OFFEND HIM and I asked over and over again if I had. He said, "no, I made a mistake - I want you out!"
Then, I met 2 men on the site, both claiming Islam is their way of life. One brother was using antipsychotic medication, I discovered this when he told me he was at the doc's officer earlier that day and he was prescribed a new medication, but he was having a difficult time reading the name of the drug. I asked him to spell it and perhaps I help him out. He did, it was an antipsychotic medication, but I was calm, I didn't freak out. That is untill the next day, he cussed me out like I was some street walker and he was a drunken sailor. When I asked why was he talking to me in this manner, he reported, "I just wanted to see your reaction, see, I go off like that often, and I wanted to know if you could take it." I blocked his profile and him phone number.
Finally, I began conversing with a man from this site who reported to be near by, but soon, I learned he was in Khartoum, Sudan. We conversed easily, about Islam, and our families and what what we wanted in a potential spouse. Then, suddenly in the same conversation, he started telling me about this genitalia. I was SHOCKED! And ever e-mail, text message, or any kind of contact was haram in the worse what. When I inquired if he used that filthy mouth to pray with and/or kiss his mother, HE was offended, ugh! Then I learned he was in Sudan, and he wanted me to help him come to the states, and he asked me to apply for this and that kind of visa for him, etc.... Finally, I told him to leave me alone and I blocked him too.
I have met some interesting and very nice men, but no one that I would marry because either they are just too far away, unemployed, poor Islamic character and/or adab or much too young, 18 - 30 years old.
Oh, yeah, just recently a man I told I was not interested in marriage with insisted we continue to converse eventhough I told him long distance romance holds no interest of mine. He insisted we simply continue to keep in touch and talk. He learned some things about me, nothing I'm ashamed of (I am unemployed, and I need a car), then he took upon himself to "help me out" his terms, with no intention of buying my affections, again his terms. I refused and told him I so much appreciate it, but Allah (SWT) will provide. Again, he insisted, and send met $400 for a computer (I was sharing one with my daughter or going to the library); then $1,800 for a new but used car to get a job and drive to Maryland (12hours away) to visit/marry him. I used a portion of the monies for groceries and bills, then he sent me another $500 and insisted on sending me yet another $200. While fasting, he called everyday, and I too tried to call him to say, "hello, what's up?" But I am looking for work, caring for my grandchildren and it was during a heat wave here in Chicago, I was feeling very overwhelmed by this "courtship" his term, not mine. Finally, I just said, brother, I don't wanna move to your city (that is the real reason he bought me the car); and I have never met you and marriage via telephone sounds absolutely crazy to me, yet he tried to convince me it was perfectly legal in Islam. One thing led to another and he discovered I was not interested in marriage with him (or anyone else outside of my city), and he became so angry and now he threatens to sue me for the monies he gave me as gifts. I never asked him for a dime, and he told it was not in lieu of marriage all was given to "help me out." I have told him repeatedly thank you - thank you - thank you. But he is too angry to hear that, again, UGH!